Life as it is... living in Japan

It’s nowhere near minimum temperature yet, but damn is it cold recently. It was 5 degrees Celsius last night and whether you understand Celsius or not, that is cold. Not freezing, but cold. Not icy, but cold. It’s not snowing, there’s no blizzards blowing, death is not coming upon us while eating a popsicle sandwich and laughing maniacally, but it is cold. I don’t mind the cold, especially since it is accompanied by fun winter sports. But as much as I love snowboarding, and anything snow related, there is a line. An un-insulated, un-heated school with the windows wide open is my limit. When it gets to that point, I throw up my white flag and pray that summer will forgive me for ever forsaking it, longing for the days of sweaty discomfort, because at least I could feel my fingers then. I couldn’t think straight through the humid haze, but I could still move, albeit it slowly, I wasn’t frozen to the spot. The only thing that gets me through the days are the Japanese version

Yes, it’s that time. Time to break into the real stereotypes of Japan, and all of Asia really. It is a common belief among the western world that Japanese people eat rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. Honestly, that is probably not too far from the truth, they do eat a lot of rice. But, I am not writing to dispel or prove stereotypes today, I am writing to confess. Ooo, a confession. Better read closely!   I would like to confess to the whole world my ignorance of rice. I’m sorry if that wasn’t the exciting gossip provoking confession you were looking for, but it’s true. In fact, if we go right back to my first experience in Japan, when I was a tiny little lady of 12, I didn’t even like rice. My mother was paranoid that I would starve to death on my two weeks stay in Japan. I didn’t starve to death evidently, instead, I returned to Australia liking rice. But that says nothing for my ignorance. I remember when I first arrived in my new apartment here in Miyazaki

The other day I had a scary thought. What will life be like when I am no longer stalked by adoring fans? How will I go back to a life of blending into a crowd of people with ease? It may sound conceited, but in some ways I have adapted to the blind hero worship that I have encountered in Japan, and the more I think about it, the harder I believe it will be to go back. I am under no false pretenses. I have done nothing but be a female foreigner in country Japan to deserve this. White skin, eyes like water (words borrowed from my students, very catchy in my opinion), naturally blondish hair, colourful clothes, and able to speak English. It's the Japanese stereotype of what's "cool". Without even trying, I have become the coolest person to walk through those school doors. It does also help, that the previous ALT at my schools where all of asian descent, so I am most likely the first foreign looking foreigner they have ever spoken to. It does wear-off eventually, and fo

Karaoke is something that I look forward to in Japan. The concept of karaoke in most western countries is a nerve racking performance in front of a crowd at a function or bar, which usually includes being laughed at if you are not a brilliant singer. In Japan this is not the case at all. You will find karaoke in bars, but instead of being the focus, it is more often than not a form of background music. Everyone remains in their seats and simply pass the microphone around the room. Karaoke in its true form is a small privately rented room paid for by the hour, with drinks and snacks to order, and if you are really lucky unlimited ice cream (have only seen this once, but a girl can dream). It is the go to social function for all ages, especially popular for work parties. I won’t go into work events too much right now, because I certainly have enough dirt to start an entirely new blog, but let’s just say that they are a more common occurrence than your average Australian work

In the last year I have had a lot of comments about my life in Japan. People wanting to know what it's like, and what I am up to. My family thinks I am on an extended vacation; travelling, eating, enjoying life. But I actually do work, and here is the proof. I picked a random day, although due to the time of year it is a little unique, I'm not always giving goodbye speeches. But it is still a pretty good insight into my daily life. Enjoy.  6:45 - snoozed alarm 6:55 - woke up, ate breakfast, got dressed, picked my futon up off of the tatami 7:40 - left for school. Stopped at a convenience store along the way for iced tea 8:20 – arrived at school and was told by the head English teacher that, not only will I be giving my farewell lunch time speech today (2 days earlier than expected), but I will also need a speech for the staff (in Japanese of course). This is usually the time when I am told about unexpected schedule changes, cancelled classes, school starting 5 mins

It’s inevitable, with no fluoride in the water or toothpaste, and delicious sugary food galore, if you are staying in Japan for longer than a year you will need to visit a dentist at some point. Unless you are opting for the denture look, which I certainly wouldn’t hold against you. As someone who does not have a phobia of dentists (aside from the fear of an empty wallet), I was still a little nervous about this experience. I didn’t know any common dentist terminology, and felt rather blinded by ignorance in general. Luckily, I didn’t read the numerous articles online about Japanese dentists, because they are 99% horror stories and 1% helpful. I just went with a recommendation, and a friend in tow. This is my story. It begins the same as any dentist tale, with the awkward wiggle that is essential in a reclining chair. I wonder if I should warn them of the possibility of me fainting. I had kicked the habit before I left Australia, handling blood related situations with

Everyone knows at least one perfectionist. They are the ones straightening their pencils, ironing their underwear, and scrubbing the toilet with a toothbrush. The rest of us believe that these tasks are unnecessary, that the world will go on if our underwear are wrinkled, it’s not like the world can see them anyway. However, for those of us living in Japan, the perfectionist ideology is more than just a case of that pencil pusher sitting over there, instead it’s a deeply rooted aspect of Japanese culture. Why does one apple cost 158yen ($1.70) in my local store? It’s because that apple is perfect. Just look at it. It’s bigger than my hand, perfectly round, and not a mark on it. Mother Nature herself could not have carved a more faultless specimen. Add to that the individual wrapping and methodical placement on the shelves, and presto. Who wouldn’t consider this the cream of the crop? But, it’s not just this apple, it’s this whole box of apples, this entire store’s ap

In just eight months in Japan I have seen more money than in my entire life. The reason is not that I earn more money now than I ever have, it's that Japan is a cash based society. Unless it is set up as a direct debit from my account, I see the money pass through my hands. I bought my car using cash. My new couch, my monthly rent, fuel, food, insurance, all cash. Anything I want, need, have bought or will buy, you guessed it cash. Drawing $300 out of an ATM is not a big deal. In fact, I very rarely would draw less than that out. That is generally enough to cover one bill, with some remaining for everyday expenses. Most people will tell you that you need at least $200 for 'walking around money.' That's probably a fair amount in my experience. It used to bother me, having so much money on me. Even if it was only for 5 minutes while I walk from the ATM to the bank teller, it would make me sweat. What if I loose my wallet? What if I get mugged? In the end you realise tha

After years and years of high school computer classes and hours upon hours of practicing on Messenger and Facebook Chat, I am happy to announce that I am accomplished in touch typing. Well I was, before I moved to Japan and someone moved the ‘@’ key. Its place of residence is now to the right of the ‘p’ button, and does not require the simultaneous pressing of shift. Not that big of a deal, right? Wrong! Typing an email becomes quite stressful if you need to look at the keyboard for a solid minute to find the @ button every time. And blogging about said @ key is just as annoying.   But wait, there’s more. More keys that is. More keys that have moved that is. Actually there are quite a few differences on a Japanese keyboard as you may notice from this picture. Another one that frequently trips me up is the apostrophe. Now, just between us, I never really found the apostrophe key all that useful in the first place. I mean don’t versus dont, who cares right? Spell check will add it

I couldn’t possibly eat another bite… ok maybe just one more… and maybe another fried octopus ball… and some green tea ice cream… and another glass of iced tea. Oh, and I haven’t had that yet, whatever that is. What was that? Intestines. Right. I should probably start asking before I eat things. Although, since I would have to try it either way to avoid hurting any ones feelings, perhaps I will not ask.   Please, I’m asking you, no begging you. I can’t eat anymore. Stop offering it to me. I have already eaten three times the amount that a normal human could eat. I realize that you have to do this, I am your guest after all. But, if you can find it in your heart to just let it go I will love you for the rest of my life. For the rest of my life, definitely, this is all I want to eat. Every day, every week, every month, every year, every decade, every century, until I die, this will be on my plate. I love it! I hate this. It’s only been seven months, and I have a permanent food baby.

This will have to become a regular post I think. Every week a teacher is thinking up a new composition topic which will inevitably lead me to a moment of hilarity. Every second a student is thinking up something absurd to convey to me in English, and just maybe they will actually say it. I would like to share a few of those moments with you now. 3rd Grade Boys Boy 1: Are you a takoyaki? (fried octopus ball) Boy 2: No. Why? Boy 1: Because you look delicious. Boy 1: (running past) cnawoif nsdco wiofh ubrgoasnfvofew fiosncoiwnf Me: (Look at boy 2) Boy 2: I can't understand him. 2nd Grade Composition - What do you want to be in the future? Boy 1: I want to be superman. Because, he has the power of fury. 1st Grade Row Game Losers Challenge Boy 1: Do you love Tommy? (another boy in the class, obviously not named Tommy in real life) Teacher:  Wait. Jaclyn doesn't know Tommy. Tommy stand up and introduce yourself. Tommy: My name is Tommy. Do you love me? Entire class

Happy Valentines Day everyone! I'm sorry I didn't get you anything. Maybe next year. Probably not.  BEFORE I found myself in a discussion with another English teacher about being single on valentines day a week or so before the actual day. I wasn't complaining, as I have never had the pleasure of being in a relationship on valentines day, and innocence is bliss. I was merely stating an obvious fact. That those of us who are single on valentines day, if a bunch of flowers walks into our line of view, we just can't help but jump to the conclusion that our secret admirer has finally come to his senses and is confessing his love in the most elaborate and amazing fashion. However, it occurred to me, that living in Japan, all hope of my knight in shining armor fantasy is instantly crushed by the fact that women give chocolate to men on valentines day, and not the other way around. No surprise flowers coming my way. Bummer! AFTER Sitting in my apartment enjoying the most del

I was lied to, on more than one occasion, and it hurts. I tried my best but failed, on more than one occasion, and it's painful.  I was wrong, on more than one occasion, and it's tiring. I'm tired. I am referring to of course my dream to speak Japanese. I have been studying Japanese since I was in 6th grade. I thought I was pretty good back then, until I got to high school and shit got real. Five years of studying at high school, damn I must be so pro. University Japanese, ha ha ha ha ha no. Three years of studying at university, surely now I can speak Japanese. Move to Japan, I have wasted my life! Six months living in Japan. I am currently sitting in the staffroom, starring at another Japanese textbook, thinking to myself:- SOMEONE LIED - Living in Japan does not make learning Japanese quick and easy I TRIED MY BEST - I have studied almost every day since arriving here, and I am still lost I WAS WRONG - my expectations, my views on language learning, and my opinio

You may start to notice a trend throughout these blogs, namely, my constant frustration with driving. I am not the only one either. It is often a topic of conversation amongst the small group of English teachers that I work with, about how rage inducing driving is. Even the calmest driver will be tested by the foreigners traps, bikers everywhere, narrow roads, and people stopping anywhere they want and putting their hazard lights on. But the one thing that has caught me most off guard is the one way roads. In Australia I always wondered how on earth people end up going the wrong way down a one way street. Isn’t it obvious? Are they blind or just stupid? Well I must be both, because I swear I do not know how I have ended up going the wrong way down one way streets numerous times, each time ending with someone yelling at me or waving a stick at me. My only condolence is that I often see Japanese people making the same mistake. *Small side note* This is my condolence for a lot of thing

This post is not titled alcoholics anonymous because I am an alcoholic. It’s titled that because I very well may be one by the time I leave here. What’s the one thing that can ruin a good night of drinking? The answer for most people is money. Drinking is expensive, and there is nothing more depressing than waking up to an empty wallet on top of your hangover. Go out to a club and you could be paying up to and beyond $10 for a beer and $20 for a cocktail. Enter ‘nomi-houdai’. ‘Nomi-houdai’ is the solution to the alcoholic’s issue of money. It is the magnificent deal available in Japan that is ‘all you can drink’. Each place is a little different, but most range from $25 to $40. It usually includes everything on the menu. The only regular exception I have found to this is beer, which is sometimes excluded from the set price. However, for an extra $5 you can upgrade to the all you can drink beer option. It usually has a time limit of 2-3 hours, but some places are not strict on this, a

Before I came to Japan I had to have a medical examination, which included a hearing test. I passed with no problems, however, since arriving in Japan I question the effectiveness of this test. There seems to be a lower (apparently) audible decibel in Japan that is not considered audible in Australia . I often come across it in the classroom, when a student answers a question. The Japanese teacher hears the answer but I don’t. At first I suspected that everyone was secretly trained in lip reading, but then I noticed that the people wearing masks could also be heard. Outside of the classroom the difficulties continue. As someone who is still learning Japanese, it is near impossible to understand something if you miss words due to not being able to hear. Those were probably the only words in that sentence that you would have known and pieced the meaning together with. Also, there is definitely a limit to the amount of times you can ask someone to repeat themselves before they start t

If you are living in Japan you will most likely own a bike. Why? Free parking (probably the only way you will ever get free parking), no traffic and no paying for fuel. The most popular bike in Japan is affectionately called the mama-chan, as it has a cute little basket on the front, very convenient for groceries or a backpack. There is also a place on the back to strap down another bag or box if you wish. Your other bike choices are a road bike, mountain bike, or the equivalent of a bmx bike which I like to refer to as clown bikes, because they have disproportionately small wheels. It never ceases to amuze me when I see a business man riding one of these, which happens more often than you would think. Now that you have your bike selected, you may need to brush up on your road rules. Let's have a quick review of the biking rules. DO Ride on the left side of the road (for the most part this is correct, but bikes can sometimes get away with either side) Give way to pedestrians