Tokyo Life: Part 1 東京ライフ:第一話

Riding trains 電車に乗る

As much as I love the brilliant public transport system that allows me to get everywhere I want to go, there are also times when I don’t love it.
Here are some random thoughts/experiences that I have had while riding trains in Tokyo.

Pushing onto the train backwards is not going to make me hate you any less.

I’ll just wait for the next train, or the next.

I can’t wait for winter. At least then I won’t be melting on the train.
(Winter comes around)
Why do they have the heater on?! It’s hotter than summer in here!

I am pretty sure if I lift my feet in the air right now I could levitate.

(As yet another person gets stuck trying to jump through the closing doors)
People are idiots.

(To my colleague) Let me teach you some useful English. Repeat after me, sardines in a can.
(同僚へ)役立つ英語を教えましょうか。私の後に続いて、Sardines in a can(缶詰のイワシ)

(As the train attendants push people onto the train while the doors are closing)
That is either the worst job in the world, or the most hilarious. I can’t decide.

Having to get off the train because you feel sick is a legitimate reason for being late to work.

Me: I don’t know if I could ride a packed train for over an hour.
Colleague: I don’t eat breakfast in the morning because the smell of BO is enough to make me wanna puke.
Me: Yeah, no. 

TV announcer: The handrails in metro trains are cleaned once every two weeks.
Japanese guests on the show: That’s amazing! What an incredible effort! That’s a relief!
Me: Once every two weeks!? I am never holding the handrail again!
私:2週に1回だけ⁈ 手すりはもう二度と掴まない!

(Me watching as people almost knock over a blind person as they push onto the train)
That person is so brave. There is no way in hell I would be riding a train if I was blind!

Two of my male colleagues: We keep our hands in the air on our phones or on the handrails as much as possible on crowded trains because we are afraid of being accused of being a chikan (perverts who are known for touching people on trains).

Dad: So, I heard there are a lot of suicides in Tokyo?
Me: Um… there’s almost one train related “incident” a week.

Just how many people are there in this world, and why are they all on my train???


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