Tokyo Life: Part 1 東京ライフ:第一話


Riding trains 電車に乗る

As much as I love the brilliant public transport system that allows me to get everywhere I want to go, there are also times when I don’t love it.
Here are some random thoughts/experiences that I have had while riding trains in Tokyo.
車がなくてもどこでも行ける便利な交通機関が大好きだと思いながら、嫌なときもあります。
これは電車に乗っているとき、思ったことや感じたことの記録です。

Pushing onto the train backwards is not going to make me hate you any less.
後ろ向きに電車に乗るとしても憎む気持ちは変わらない。

I’ll just wait for the next train, or the next.
次の電車を待つ。いや、次の次。

I can’t wait for winter. At least then I won’t be melting on the train.
(Winter comes around)
Why do they have the heater on?! It’s hotter than summer in here!
冬は楽しみだ!電車の中が溶ける程暑いことはないから!
(冬が来た)
なんで暖炉が付いているの?夏より暑いじゃん!

I am pretty sure if I lift my feet in the air right now I could levitate.
今足を上げたら浮くかも!

(As yet another person gets stuck trying to jump through the closing doors)
People are idiots.
(また駆け込み乗車を見ると)
人間って馬鹿だね。

(To my colleague) Let me teach you some useful English. Repeat after me, sardines in a can.
(同僚へ)役立つ英語を教えましょうか。私の後に続いて、Sardines in a can(缶詰のイワシ)

(As the train attendants push people onto the train while the doors are closing)
That is either the worst job in the world, or the most hilarious. I can’t decide.
(乗客を車内に押し込む駅員を見ると)
これは最悪な仕事か世界で一番面白い仕事か決められない。

Having to get off the train because you feel sick is a legitimate reason for being late to work.
電車を途中の駅で降りることは仕事に遅れる理由になるね。

Me: I don’t know if I could ride a packed train for over an hour.
Colleague: I don’t eat breakfast in the morning because the smell of BO is enough to make me wanna puke.
Me: Yeah, no. 
私:一時間以上満員電車に乗れないかも。
同僚:体臭がきつくて気分が悪くなるため、朝ご飯を食べないようにしている。
私:やっぱり無理。

TV announcer: The handrails in metro trains are cleaned once every two weeks.
Japanese guests on the show: That’s amazing! What an incredible effort! That’s a relief!
Me: Once every two weeks!? I am never holding the handrail again!
アナウンサー:メトロの手すりは2週に1回消毒している。
番組のゲスト:凄いな。メトロ頑張っているね。安心したわ。
私:2週に1回だけ⁈ 手すりはもう二度と掴まない!

(Me watching as people almost knock over a blind person as they push onto the train)
That person is so brave. There is no way in hell I would be riding a train if I was blind!
(電車に乗ろうとしている人が目が見えない人を倒しそうなとき)
凄い勇気あるね。もし私は目が見えない人だったら、電車に絶対乗らない。無理。

Two of my male colleagues: We keep our hands in the air on our phones or on the handrails as much as possible on crowded trains because we are afraid of being accused of being a chikan (perverts who are known for touching people on trains).
同僚の男性二人:チカンと疑われるのが怖くて、満員電車に乗るとき、できる限り頭の上に携帯を握るか手すりを掴むようにしている。

Dad: So, I heard there are a lot of suicides in Tokyo?
Me: Um… there’s almost one train related “incident” a week.
父:東京で自殺が多いと聞いたけど?
私:えーと、週に1回ぐらい電車関係の人事事故がある。(T.T)

Just how many people are there in this world, and why are they all on my train???
世界で一体何人がいるの?そして、なぜみんなは私が乗りたい電車に乗っているの?

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