Split in Two 二つに分かれた

I was talking to a friend the other day who pointed out something that I had not taken the time to consider yet. My friend did a one year working holiday in Australia, and had intended to do a second year, but decided to come home to be near her family. When she returned home to Japan and started working, she struggled to adapt to her old surroundings and began planning her escape to Australia. However, before she got the chance to put this plan into action, she met her now husband, and decided to stay for a while to be with him. She told me that she doesn't regret returning to Japan, but she still would have liked to have lived in Australia again.
この間、友達と話していて、その時まで気づいてなかったことを考えさせられた。友達は1年間オーストラリアでワーキングホリデーをして、もう1年をやろうとしたけど、結局、家族に会いたくて帰った。帰国してから、新しい人生と仕事に慣れることができなくて、またオーストラリアに逃げようと考えていたようだ。だが、計画を立てる前に、今の旦那と出会って、彼と付き合うため、日本にいることにした。日本に帰ったことは後悔していないけど、もう一回ぐらいオーストラリアで住んでみたかったと語った。

Her story made me realise that I may have made my life slightly more complicated than was necessary. The moment I stepped on the plane to Japan, I chose to split my life in two; my Japan life and my Australia life. There are things that bring me incredible happiness in both of these lives. My friends, family, job, hobbies, and material possessions are spread haphazardly between the two. If I return home to my Australian life, I will miss my Japanese home, and wonder what my life would have been like in Japan. If I remain in Japan, I will continue to miss my family and the comfort that comes from being in the country that one grew up in. No matter which choice I make, I will always be missing someone. No matter which choice I make, my mind will occasionally wander to the life I could have had.
彼女の話を聞いて、私の人生を必要以上に複雑にしたと気づいた。日本への飛行機に乗った瞬間、私の人生が二つに分かれた。日本での人生とオーストラリアでの人生。二つ共、幸福をもたらすことがある。友達、家族、仕事、趣味、物、すべてがバラバラになった。オーストラリアに帰ったら、日本が恋しくなって、日本にもっと滞在していれば、どんな人生になったのかなぁと思うかも。日本に滞在したら、育った国に住む心地よさと家族を恋しいと思う気持ちを持ち続けるだろう。どっちにいても、誰かに会いたいことがある。どっちにいても、たまにもう一つの人生について考えて、ボーッとすることもあるかも。

It is not all bad news though. The benefits of experiencing living life abroad far outweigh the difficulties. I have met and worked with people from all over the world, learned a new way of speaking, a new way of thinking, and have had time to reflect upon my culture and myself. It is only when you remove yourself from the familiar, do you discover who you really are and what you are made of. Naturally, there have been moments when I have found myself crying on the bathroom floor after eating an entire pizza. Or, the time I drank three quarters of a bottle of wine while watching Bridget Jones’ Diary and thinking, will this be me when I am in my thirties? There are highs and lows in my life. Even if I had not chosen this path and had instead continued to live my life in my home country, I believe my life would still have highs and lows. Maybe it wouldn't resemble my current roller-coaster, but that’s also part of the fun. 
でも、悪い話ばっかりじゃない。海外で住む利益の方が多いと思う。世界中から来た人に会ったり、新しい考え方や話し方を学んだり、自分の国と自分自身を振り返ったり、できる。馴染んだ世界から離れると自分という人間が分かってくる。もちろん、ピザ1枚を一人で食べて、シャワー室の床に座りながら、泣くこともある。また、「ブリジット・ジョーンズの日記」を見ながらワインボトルの4分の3を一人で飲んで、30代の私はブリジットのようになるかなぁと思うこともある。私の人生には起伏がある。この道を選ばず、ズーッとオーストラリアに住むことにしていたとしても、起伏があるだろう。今の人生はジェットコースターみたいだけど、それなりの楽しさがある。

Perhaps it is the case that I can be happy in either of my lives, if I choose to be. I could choose to get caught up in the negatives, focusing only on the people I want to see or the inconveniences in my life. Or, I could choose to enjoy the opportunities I have been given. It’s impossible to be happy every single moment of every day, but I choose to be happy as much as possible. We all have this choice. 

幸せになると決めたら、どっちの人生を選んでも幸せになれる。人恋しい、不都合なことがある、という否定的な考えにとらわれてしまう。また、与えられたチャンスを楽しむ。毎日毎秒幸せというのは無理かもしれないけど、できるだけ幸せだと感じることができる。人生にはそんな選択がある。
My Japanese Life

Comments

  1. I made my choice more that twenty years ago. I remember in the early days feeling like I was missing out on so much because I was in Japan. And I also distinctly remember when I realized that THIS was my life and I needed to get on with it. Distance is hard but those reunions, no matter how short or infrequent are worth their weight in gold. I have learned to appreciate my family and be grateful for any time we can have together, and in some respects feel a little more appreciative than my aussie counterparts who seem to take it all for granted. My wonderful husband/kids/job are all what keep me focused and still in love with Japan. Without their love and support I know my life would have been totally different. I have found my niche!

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