Job Hunting Post-Japan

Earlier this year, I read an article about long term unemployment and self-confidence which hit a little too close to home. After reading the article, I wrote down how I was feeling, but didn’t share it at the time. For better or for worse, I am not someone who likes to admit when I don’t have it all together. I tend to share my experiences later, when I have all the answers. I don’t know if I have all the answers yet, but I do feel like I have made a little progress this year, despite everything that is going on in the world. So, here it is, my job search journey post Japan.

When I returned from Japan at the end of 2018, I began searching for part time work, albeit sometimes not wholeheartedly, to keep myself afloat financially while I pursue a Master’s degree at University. I had some success with informal jobs, tutoring English to international students and more recently teaching yoga, but it has been a constant struggle to earn enough to cover my basic living expenses. When COVID came along, I lost most of my work, which forced me to accept that I needed help and to apply for unemployment benefits. This finally gave me and my bank account some relief from financial stress, but as anyone who has been on unemployment benefits in Australia will know, it is not a fun process. I wanted to reclaim my freedom and independence as soon as possible, but how?

One of my very first yoga teaching gigs

The longer I was out of work, the less confident I felt that I would be able to find meaningful employment. Reading through job applications became increasingly disheartening, as I received rejection after rejection or worse, waited endlessly for a response that would never come. Self-doubt started to plague my thoughts. I thought to myself, I obviously don’t have the right skills, or I’m too old, I’m not selling myself enough, my cover letter and resume are poorly written, I’m not qualified, I’m useless, I am a failure, what am I doing with my life?!

On a good day, my reasonable side reminded me that it’s a competitive job market and my skills and experience are valuable. I just have to persevere, I kept telling myself, and continue developing personally and networking more widely. On a bad day, I couldn’t bring myself to open my laptop to look at job advertisements. Advertisements were like reading a list of all my shortcomings, all the ways in which I was not good enough for the jobs. It felt like the more I tried the more I failed, and without receiving any feedback from any of the applications, I had no idea how I could improve. Thankfully, University was a good confidence booster through this period as my efforts were recognized and rewarded by good results, otherwise I may have felt completely hopeless. And at the end of July, I finally found a part time job that aligns with my values and fits in with my uni schedule, working as a support worker for people with spinal injuries.

This job has brought new challenges and growth. The first challenge was overcoming my fear of fainting on the job. The sight of blood or even just listening to people talk about accidents or injuries has always made me feel faint. In my first orientation for work, I had to sit with my head between my knees for almost half an hour to make it through the description of how spinal injuries affect the body. After that experience, I was terrified that I was going to pass out at a client’s house and seriously injure them or myself. But somehow, I convinced myself to go to my first shift, and then to the second and third. Now I have been working there for four months, and I am happy to report that I have not passed out once. This is despite seeing and hearing some things that I definitely would not have been able to handle just a few short months ago. 

Other challenges have included managing the extra strain care work has put on my body, being on my feet for long periods of time, performing manual handling tasks, and lots and lots of squatting. Fortunately, this was good motivation to get back into the gym and work on some of my problem areas which has been good for my overall health. Also, making time for uni work was really tough this semester, as I felt constantly tired from late night and early morning shifts at work, along with everything else that I try to fit into my life. I almost gave up on my final essay for one class because on the day it was due, I wasn’t even half way through it and felt so overwhelmed by the whole thing. Thankfully my classmate gave me a pep talk and the school was sympathetic enough to my situation to give me a three-day extension. Overall, I managed to survive the semester and although I am still waiting for my final marks, I feel fairly confident that I have passed both of my classes.

As I said, I don’t have all the answers yet, but at least I don’t have to worry about finding a job for the time being. Job hunting seems largely to benefit no one. Surely there is a better way. Spending hours filling out applications just to be rejected with zero feedback is cruel. You don’t even know if the recruitment officer read your application or not. I am not saying applicants need to be wrapped in bubble wrap or given a job on a platter, I recognize the value of working hard for something, but the current system is ridiculous. Applicants are working hard for nothing, and although I have not experienced this process from the perspective of the company, I can’t imagine it is working out well for them either. Any thoughts?