Life as it is... living in Japan

I couldn’t possibly eat another bite… ok maybe just one more… and maybe another fried octopus ball… and some green tea ice cream… and another glass of iced tea. Oh, and I haven’t had that yet, whatever that is. What was that? Intestines. Right. I should probably start asking before I eat things. Although, since I would have to try it either way to avoid hurting any ones feelings, perhaps I will not ask.   Please, I’m asking you, no begging you. I can’t eat anymore. Stop offering it to me. I have already eaten three times the amount that a normal human could eat. I realize that you have to do this, I am your guest after all. But, if you can find it in your heart to just let it go I will love you for the rest of my life. For the rest of my life, definitely, this is all I want to eat. Every day, every week, every month, every year, every decade, every century, until I die, this will be on my plate. I love it! I hate this. It’s only been seven months, and I have a permanent food ba...

This will have to become a regular post I think. Every week a teacher is thinking up a new composition topic which will inevitably lead me to a moment of hilarity. Every second a student is thinking up something absurd to convey to me in English, and just maybe they will actually say it. I would like to share a few of those moments with you now. 3rd Grade Boys Boy 1: Are you a takoyaki? (fried octopus ball) Boy 2: No. Why? Boy 1: Because you look delicious. Boy 1: (running past) cnawoif nsdco wiofh ubrgoasnfvofew fiosncoiwnf Me: (Look at boy 2) Boy 2: I can't understand him. 2nd Grade Composition - What do you want to be in the future? Boy 1: I want to be superman. Because, he has the power of fury. 1st Grade Row Game Losers Challenge Boy 1: Do you love Tommy? (another boy in the class, obviously not named Tommy in real life) Teacher:  Wait. Jaclyn doesn't know Tommy. Tommy stand up and introduce yourself. Tommy: My name is Tommy. Do you love me? Entire ...

Happy Valentines Day everyone! I'm sorry I didn't get you anything. Maybe next year. Probably not.  BEFORE I found myself in a discussion with another English teacher about being single on valentines day a week or so before the actual day. I wasn't complaining, as I have never had the pleasure of being in a relationship on valentines day, and innocence is bliss. I was merely stating an obvious fact. That those of us who are single on valentines day, if a bunch of flowers walks into our line of view, we just can't help but jump to the conclusion that our secret admirer has finally come to his senses and is confessing his love in the most elaborate and amazing fashion. However, it occurred to me, that living in Japan, all hope of my knight in shining armor fantasy is instantly crushed by the fact that women give chocolate to men on valentines day, and not the other way around. No surprise flowers coming my way. Bummer! AFTER Sitting in my apartment enjoying the most del...

I was lied to, on more than one occasion, and it hurts. I tried my best but failed, on more than one occasion, and it's painful.  I was wrong, on more than one occasion, and it's tiring. I'm tired. I am referring to of course my dream to speak Japanese. I have been studying Japanese since I was in 6th grade. I thought I was pretty good back then, until I got to high school and shit got real. Five years of studying at high school, damn I must be so pro. University Japanese, ha ha ha ha ha no. Three years of studying at university, surely now I can speak Japanese. Move to Japan, I have wasted my life! Six months living in Japan. I am currently sitting in the staffroom, starring at another Japanese textbook, thinking to myself:- SOMEONE LIED - Living in Japan does not make learning Japanese quick and easy I TRIED MY BEST - I have studied almost every day since arriving here, and I am still lost I WAS WRONG - my expectations, my views on language learning, and my opinio...

You may start to notice a trend throughout these blogs, namely, my constant frustration with driving. I am not the only one either. It is often a topic of conversation amongst the small group of English teachers that I work with, about how rage inducing driving is. Even the calmest driver will be tested by the foreigners traps, bikers everywhere, narrow roads, and people stopping anywhere they want and putting their hazard lights on. But the one thing that has caught me most off guard is the one way roads. In Australia I always wondered how on earth people end up going the wrong way down a one way street. Isn’t it obvious? Are they blind or just stupid? Well I must be both, because I swear I do not know how I have ended up going the wrong way down one way streets numerous times, each time ending with someone yelling at me or waving a stick at me. My only condolence is that I often see Japanese people making the same mistake. *Small side note* This is my condolence for a lot of thing...

This post is not titled alcoholics anonymous because I am an alcoholic. It’s titled that because I very well may be one by the time I leave here. What’s the one thing that can ruin a good night of drinking? The answer for most people is money. Drinking is expensive, and there is nothing more depressing than waking up to an empty wallet on top of your hangover. Go out to a club and you could be paying up to and beyond $10 for a beer and $20 for a cocktail. Enter ‘nomi-houdai’. ‘Nomi-houdai’ is the solution to the alcoholic’s issue of money. It is the magnificent deal available in Japan that is ‘all you can drink’. Each place is a little different, but most range from $25 to $40. It usually includes everything on the menu. The only regular exception I have found to this is beer, which is sometimes excluded from the set price. However, for an extra $5 you can upgrade to the all you can drink beer option. It usually has a time limit of 2-3 hours, but some places are not strict on this, a...

Before I came to Japan I had to have a medical examination, which included a hearing test. I passed with no problems, however, since arriving in Japan I question the effectiveness of this test. There seems to be a lower (apparently) audible decibel in Japan that is not considered audible in Australia . I often come across it in the classroom, when a student answers a question. The Japanese teacher hears the answer but I don’t. At first I suspected that everyone was secretly trained in lip reading, but then I noticed that the people wearing masks could also be heard. Outside of the classroom the difficulties continue. As someone who is still learning Japanese, it is near impossible to understand something if you miss words due to not being able to hear. Those were probably the only words in that sentence that you would have known and pieced the meaning together with. Also, there is definitely a limit to the amount of times you can ask someone to repeat themselves before they start t...